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I had a conversation about carrot cake today.  I hate carrot cake.  I hate it so much that to make my point I said out loud, “to me, carrot cake is like a hamburger doughnut.”

really, that’s what it is to me.  I have a thing where when I’m trying to stay away from sweets but want to cheat I say, “I don’t like girl scout samoas, but I should probably just try one to remind myself.”  I don’t have to remind myself how much I hate carrot cake.

Mopsa went to the doctor to have the kind of day I had today.  I had a really productive, surly and altogether embarassing day today.  I’m sure that if I had a mirror in my cube, I’d have thrown up a little in my mouth at the sight of me.

Ever have a day where you feel gross? I have.  today.  I went for a walk and took another shower after work today.

Tomorrow I’m going to get to work 2 hours early just so I can leave earlier.

these two muffins are sitting in the oven, and one muffins says, “holy crap, it’s hot in here!”  and the other muffins says, “holy crap, a talking muffin!”

is it possible to be funny without potentially offending anyone?  I mean, in the grand scheme, is there anything we as americans find funny that couldn’t be offensive to anyone?

I’m sitting here thinking it’s not possible.  I know that I’ve been in groups where I was the butt of the joke pretty consistently, and if I found anything offensive about the jokes I would just be ignored…  but…  nope, I can’t think of a single joke that is actually funny enough to make a person older than 5 years old laugh, that isn’t purely inoffensive.

I didn’t get what I intended to get done this weekend.  I intended to work on the seat for my motorcycle, and I really tried to do that - practicing lacing on a piece of leather. The lace was too big, the holes too small. Happens to me a lot.

BUT, I did paint some pretty cool candy flames on my future brother-in-law’s hard hat.  He’ll be wearing it for all to see today if we’re lucky.

And I got some much needed experience for another painting project for someone else that’s dying to put his fender back on his bike. 

ever get the feeling it’s time to just shut your mouth?

I do.  It’s sensitive time in the midwest, and I don’t want to upset the good juju that I’ve been feeling lately.

Just a warning - my next post will be completely insubsantial

obvious: I hate tax day.  I put it off like the plague, my piles of receipts are not where I piled them.

galloping on to conquering fear: I’ve got a few little fears that I’m overcoming right now. I’m supposed to be painting this simple graphic on my friend CJ’s motorcycle fender. my fear here is not that I’ll screw it up, even though it belongs to a motorcycle that’s not cheap - it’s that I’m painting with enamel, and I’m afraid I won’t be able to completely clean it out of my airbrush.  (which is ridiculous, people do it everyday)  but when I was younger, CJ borrowed an expensive oil painting brush from my artbin and destroyed it painting an f-14 tomcat model.  Guess I’m going to just have to jump in at some point now that taxes are done.

little fear #2: I’ve got the seat off my own motorcycle, and a hunk of leather that was pretty expensive.  I was sitting there last night, cover off the old seat thinking, “how am I supposed to cut this leather, what if I screw up?”  The fear is not that I can’t afford to buy another piece of leather - I’m in the wholesale club man!  It’s that old fear that I’ve had where there’s something in the back of my mind saying, “screw up the leather, but don’t screw up everything else that is attached to it.  that would be bad.”  You know like pulling parts off a car that you need to drive to work the next day.

like I said, little fears that I’ll overcome without thinking a second time about it.  but I’m up early, and since I’m not starting on either of these things before work, I had time to think about it.  Maybe I’ll go to work early today, just in case I have to buy a new piece of leather and airbrush parts tomorrow.

I left work early on Friday and had a glorious afternoon in the sun.

nee-ner nee-ner nee-ner.

There’s a time when a person just has to cut things loose.  I think I’m developing a thicker skin, and I like it. 

I have a tendency to want to figure everything out - like how to do things, why people are the way theu are etc.  well, the how to do things desire is still alive and well, but I have a better perception of the moment when I stop trying to figure a person out.  I don’t know how it feels or will feel for them when I just give up on trying.  one of the things that just sucks the life out of me is when a conversation among friends turns into something more than it was ever intended to be because some part of the conversation has been isolated into an issue.

That issue then becomes a bigger issue for one person, where the remainder of the people in the conversation not only don’t know that it’s happened, but have let the whole thing roll off.  I know I’m the kind of person who sometimes says things to get a rise out of other people - to make them think about what they’re saying, but I’m human too - and sometimes I just say something stupid.  Neither of those things are the kinds of conversations I’m talking about.  I also know that I’m pretty sensitive and protective of myself in similar situations.  I tend to hold more of those emotions in than take it up with someone - partly because I know it’s probably just me most of the time. 

well, apparently I’ve offended someone - the result of a poor choice of words at an inarticulate moment - but even knowing exactly what was said, and in the spirit of the whole conversation I still don’t know why it’s an issue at all.  like an energy draining issue.  worst case it should be “that was stupid to say” and let it go.

well, as long as I don’t understand what it’s about, I’m going to let this kind of stuff go.  and even if I do understand, I may let it go too.  I’m just tired of walking people through interpersonal relationships like a tour guide.  I’ve got my own learning to do.  Figure it out on your own.  If people don’t match, and both can’t meet in the middle.  well then, call it what it is.

and in putting this on my blog I feel newly empowered that that’s how I’d like to be.

I forgot to tell you all this.  After posting that Slippery When Wet was 20 years old, I was in the previously mentioned weird mood.  I went to the bank that I visit weekly on Wednesdays and am getting to know the tellers.  One of whom said, “is everything alright today?”  I said, “weird mood, slippery when wet is 20 this year…”

she said, “I think Jon Bon Jovi is my favorite singer of all time.”

I have to confess that’s what made my weird mood go away.

In other news, I’ve contacted the guy that published a story of mine that I’ve been trying to track down (don’t have a copy myself) for several years.  He will be putting a copy in the mail this week, even though the magazine hasn’t been published for several years.

so, one good turn deserves another, he refinishes fine and antique furniture.  He is very good.  so if you need some furniture refinished, take it to Yesterday’s Futures in Harmony, MN, or contact them - they make pick-ups in the Twin Cities.  you won’t regret it.