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man I love poetry. it’s dangerous though. I’m buried in work to the level that I’ll be working 14 days straight and that leaves me a little tired. when I’m tired I can get melancholy. then add some of your old poetry - basically journal entries from the past in short little lines to get the point across faster.

I can imagine where I was in stanzas of my own poetry, and in words of other people’s work. it’s 2am right now, not sleeping, thinking of places that I was. thinking of things that I said that I meant at the moment I said them, but didn’t mean 5 minutes later.

what’s worse, sometimes those things I said were because I somehow thought that that’s what I was supposed to say - maybe somewhere down the road I would be thankful for saying that one thing because it improved my life somehow. Here’s one that I’ve said 1,001 times: “No chance in Hell.”

Maybe I’ve grown into more of an optimist. It seems more like there’s always a chance - but then I wanted to save someone else from trying to love me, or save my pride when someone fired me from a job, but called to ask me back.

side story: when asked “do you want a merry-go-round life or a carousel?” my answer (then?) “I think they’d both make me sick.”

In my late teens I thought o O (roller coaster ride would be more fun)

Then I started dating and have wished for carousel since.

I guess I need to adapt more quickly - before more chances pass by.

I haven’t written that poem yet - maybe I should just on the off chance that I remember I wrote poems once, and need a moment to recall who I was.

I’ve been writing a ton lately - I’ve always had a lot to say - but the writing part of my brain works entirely differently.  When I’m talking I sort of wander around making analogies and describing.  An example:  yesterday at work I said, “Am I the only one who feels like we’re fixing the air conditioning in a car that doesn’t run?”  When I write - all the describing just sort of happens.  It wasn’t always this way - I’ll admit.  I found a story - one of 2 fictional stories that I’ve ever completed - that I lost somewhere around 1998.  I found it, and I’m going to type it up so I don’t lose it again - and I’m going to show it to one person who has already read it and was (I guess) sorta trying to help me find it.  But I have a different idea now about writing.  I have a different idea about many of the creative type things I do.  They’re for me now.  That’s vague I know, but I’m going to do that thing I do and wander for a sec.

When I was 17 I went to the art supply store and bought a big pad of newsprint and some chalk pastels with my friend Larry.  We went to the mall which had a big open space in the middle.  I laid down on the floor (in the middle of the mall) and started drawing these huge pastel drawings.  We were there for at least a couple hours.  Within 10 minutes we were completely surrounded by people 4 or 5 deep (which I didn’t notice at first.)  When I noticed, I started tearing drawings out of the book, rolling them up and handing them to people.  I did 15 or 20 drawings and gave them all away.  Then the rent-a-cops told us that we had to go because the second story balcony was starting to fill up with people too, and the stores called them and asked if they would remove us.  We packed up and left.  This whole fountain area was full of pastel dust.  I can barely remember what those drawings looked like (except one) and I wish I had it now.

I’ll stop the wandering and say, “same thing with poems, same thing with stories.”  I’ve always given that stuff away - freely.  Then I heard someone tell me my own story.  Not to sound too dippy - a whole bunch of bad “energy” showed up.  For the last couple years I’ve been trying to eliminate that darkness, and about 95% of the time it’s gone.   I hate when it comes back - it’s painful.

The point of all this is that now that I’m writing again, I’m going to put it all in a well - a box or something, for someone to find when I’m an old man - or when I’m dead or something.  Maybe I’ll put a note on the top - I’ve been known to do this - that says: “If you find this…  use it in whatever way you feel like.”  Maybe I’ll get some post-mortem karma.  There’s never enough of that for a guy that’s made the kind of mistakes I’ve made.

I had a great day today - spent a chunk of it in my new garage playing.  I got a free oven off of craigs list today.  I’m going to bake paint in it, and make soap on the top.  yay!  more stuff to do in the home-away-from-home.  I’ve got an Airstream fridge just dying to go in there too.  and a Senseo.  drinks for all seasons!

I sanded wood today ’cause I’m making myself a workbench.  thank god for dust collection.

it’s early - and I had HBO on in the background while working on a website - don’t do this late at night while watching HBO because you might end up with some soft porn playing gently in the background.  in my case, loudly.  *MUTE*  whoops!

night-night.

This week in 1967, Otis Redding is killed when his tour plane crashes into Lake Monona near Madison, Wisconsin… the “Love Man” is 26… killed with Redding are the pilot and four members of his backup group, the Bar-Kays… the scheduled warm up band for Redding’s show that evening is a group called The Grim Reaper…

so… 2 of my favorite musicians died in the state in which I now live.

The other?  Stevie Ray Vaughn

…to having my garage.  this weekend was a combo of good and bad - got a cold so I’m sick and can’t do much with the tremendous weather.  I managed to go get myself a power sprayer to clean off the walls in my garage - the higher temperature making my cold feel just a little better.  Enough better to push my motorcycles to the garage (they have “character” meaning “I don’t work unless it’s 65 degrees or better”)

so I’m pushing the parts bike, half put together, down main street - and some jerk comes out of the pharmacy (my guess, refilling his viagra) and says, “I suppose you get better gas mileage that way huh?”)  I couldn’t manage anything witty so I just thought “shut up.” and kept pushing.  This town is so small I bet 30% of it’s population knows someone just moved in to that old garage.  I better get some shades on the window or I might end up with a crowd if I weld something.

on the banjo front - since it was mentioned in comments - I’ve got the forward rolls down, but am having a time with the reverse rolls.  what this means to the general population is: If you can tap the theme from the lone ranger on a desk with your finger tips, try doing it backward.  Once you get that down, stop halfway through and change directions.  That’s banjo.  I feel a little like the banjo version of Zoolander.  It’s always been so, but won’t always be.  If it’s going to be a long winter, well then I have time don’t I?

One other thing, since I don’t post often anymore.  Someone at the Vintage Airstream Club has taken an idea a bunch of us had in the late 90’s and run with it.  in 1959 and 1960 Wally Byam (the inventor of the Airstream) took 41 trailers (and 41 couples) to Africa to go from Capetown to Cairo.  Only 29 trailers made the trip in the end due to breakdowns etc.  Sounds like they’re going to do it again, and I’m all in on this one.  I talked to my friend from Africa and asked him what language to learn (he said “bring a translator”) and if I would be robbed (he said “yes” without even thinking about it.)  But then he started teaching me North Sutu, said South Sutu was close, told me not to learn Afrikaans (which is his native language) and then said maybe I should learn Swahili.  I’ll just use the translator I think.  One trip to Africa may just be enough.  And hopefully we’ll have some Land Rovers running along side us with armed personel.

and that’s the news.

I was just watching this show SuperBikes! and saw this guy I used to work with talking about his son Aaron Colton.  He’s a stunter - wheelies, stoppies and all kinds of stuff I don’t know the name of.  Check him out, he’s amazing: Aaron Colton - you’re not going to believe it. Oh - and he’s 14 years old.

so I’m about to become the proud owner of a building in my town.  my offer was accepted and now it’s all about signing the papers and grabbing the keys.  It’s an industrial building - like a tiny little warehouse, but a perfect place for me to store the motorcycles, cars and trailer.

I could almost pee I’m so excited.

…are just 2 of my favorite things about where I live.

I recently made my first foray into real estate.  I’m a little stressed out because it’s all about paperwork.  Once I survive that part, it’s all downhill from there.

just a little update.

Went to the 400 Bar last night to see Angie Stevens - first time in 6 years.  She was great!  Her opening person, Coles Whalen was great too - it was, and my friend agrees - a lot like that scene in High Fidelity where the guys walk in to the club and Lisa Bonet is on stage.

I got to give Angie a picture from when she played my 30th birthday party - in a garage in front of my Airstream.  She’s well beyond that now with a “Denver’s best singer/songwriter” award and a National Anthem performance at a Cub/ Rockies game.

Still - she couldn’t have been more cool and down to earth.  She’s on my list of people/bands to see live.

I’m currently in the 4th week (I’m pretty sure) of a new theory of mine.  It’s called 3 wishes.  ok - so here’s how it works.

make 3 wishes.  If you’re like most people you’ll have made at least 2 of these:

1. unlimited amounts of money
2. something to do with sex or a sexual fantasy
3. more wishes

ok - now throw those three out and make 3 more.  Chances are that the next three wishes are wishes that you could attain without the proverbial genie in a bottle.  If that’s so, write them down.  Now print yourself out a 3 month calendar, because you have 12 weeks to make them come true.

my three have to do with fitness, clothes and music.  we’re only going to talk about music right now.  you don’t need to know why.

I bought a banjo 4 weeks ago.  I’ve played guitar in a really average way since I was a little guy because I never had the dedication to learn to play the right way and do the exercises - probably because they’re called exercises.  Due to the length of my fitness program (12 weeks) I decided that 12 weeks was enough time to realize these three wishes in their entirety, or WORST case, to get on the right path.  That’s why I like this new program of mine.  If you keep trying, your worst result is that you’re just better than you were before.  WIN-WIN man.  It’s the plan to break the perpetual plateau that some people seem to hit when they get what they want - e.g. marriage, a good job, whatever thing that brings stability into your life.  A couple years later you’ve stabilized yourself out of joy.  Back to my train of thought - I’ve been practicing banjo 3 nights a week since the beginning using sheet music and a plan of exercise.  I’m already doing things I could never figure out how to do on my guitar.  good news then - it’s already working.  The reward is that 3 wishes will have come true.  There is no downside to that.

The rest of the plan.  If the things you choose are attainable, and can be worked into your life for 12 weeks, it should be automatic after that.  so, when you’re done making the first 3 a part of your life, take a week off and make 3 more.  After that, take 2 weeks off, make 3 more… 1 more week off and 3 more.  There you’ve got a year of your life - FULL of new things that you’ve wished for and a whole new list of interesting things to tell the friends you haven’t seen since last year.

Feel free to use the plan if you think it’d work.  Tell people I put you on a path.  I like it - low pressure, solid goals, nice timeline, and no reason to punish yourself if you don’t do it because you’re better off for trying regardless.

I’m sorry but blogging more isn’t on my list.  Maybe, if things get frustrating with the first three, I’ll spend some time on my blog avoiding the program.